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Kamakhya……The Bleeding Goddess

The color red represents so much. It is the color of the vermilion, played by the ladies during Durga Puja in West Bengal, the color of wedded bliss and also the color of ……….menstruation.

While sometimes, it is pious and holy, other times, it is considered a taboo and a social stigma in the society.

Kamakhya is a famous temple nestled in the beauty and greenery of Assam (Guwahati), worshipped for its power and purity, and wondered at for its mysticism and rituals. The story dates back to the mythological era, wherein Shiv and Sati were unified as husband and wife.

Located on the Nilachal hill, in the capital city of Guwahati, the deity of the temple, Kamakhya Devi is revered as the ‘Bleeding Goddess’. It is believed that the ‘Garvagriha’ of the temple cocoons the mythical womb and vagina of the hindu goddess, Sati.

Legend has it that Sati fought with Shiva to join in a yajna, her father was offering to appease the gods. Sati’s father talked lowly about Shiva on the occasion. Enraged at the insult of her husband, she sacrificed herself to the fire.

When Shiva heard about the incident, he was outraged. Carrying his wife’s corpse in his hands, he indulged in the ‘Dance of Destruction’, which we call as ‘Tandav’. To stop Shiva from the rampage, Vishnu sent out his chakra and sliced Sati’s body which fell in 108 locations, across the country, now come to known as ‘Shakti-Peeths’.

The place where her womb and vagina fell is the Kamakhya Temple.

It is believed that during the month of Ashaad (June), Brahmaputra river near Kamakhya turns red. The temple is closed for 7 days, believing that the goddess is menstruating. The ‘Prashad’ consists of blood and sometimes, even flesh of birds and animals.

A country where menstruation talks are still a ‘hush-hush’, and ‘gruesome’, kamakhya temple stands tall. Celebrating womanhood in all it’s glory and splendor, voicing the idea that the girls are all faces of ‘Shakti’. They are the creators- real ones.

 

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FROTH…

frothBy : Kirti Srivastava

‘Froth’, if you see the literal meaning, it refers to ‘A mass of small bubbles in a liquid caused by agitation or fermentation’.

Now, if you look at the interesting aspect of the word, it also means ‘Worthless or insubstantial talk, ideas or activities’.

I am more concerned about the latter aspect and the alarming rate at which the froth is growing in the present imbalanced world. No pun intended.

Till the froth is on the coffee, it can be savored, but when it foams up on your ideas, cluttering and layering your thinking, it’s time for the alarm bells to ring…loud.

There is so much of fermentation in beliefs and ideals in the quintessential world today that the dregs of real truth have been pushed down far beneath…….almost invisible to the mind.  As voltaire has remarked:

“Froth at the top, dregs at the bottom, but the middle excellent”.

It is our middle that we constantly have to work upon because at the bottom is mediocrity and at the top, our warring beliefs. It is the middle where all the clarity resides…..under the froth. If the middle is excellent, the froth will ultimately recede showing you the clear picture of you as an individual.

When your mind is sinking under the trivia, you have to push your way upwards…….clearing the suds and calming the turbulence………..to make way for the excellence and perfection to surface.

We need to stop the small talks and start the big thoughts. It is a chain reaction. Your one moment of  a great thought will make the other pregnant with a supreme one. Your genius, once recognized will clear the dredges of insubstantial and inconsequential ideas and rigid chatter.

So, work on the middle……….till you come out of the froth, bigger and better.

And as they say, ” Froth is not beer”.

So, keep diving in till you get to the beer…………….real beer.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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BELIEVE…

Science Says: “Show me and i will believe it. Faith says: ” Believe it and i will show you”‘

It is one of the most powerful solo word that the humanity needs in these distressing times of hatred, sin and resentment.

The world has a vested interest in maintaining it’s status quo and living a life of visceral fears and doubts. We have created boundaries in our minds and around ourselves, so that we remain locked up inside the fortress build out of our own rigidity and severity.

You know why?

I will tell you.

We are too afraid of being different. We are too afraid to believe that we can be anyone else other than who we are. We are afraid to evolve, afraid to grow………most of all afraid to accept change.

Change is the most permanent thing in this world and we unfailingly fail to see it.  One day it will all be over and we will bid adieu without leaving anything behind……..no lessons of courage, no words of love, no legacy. Absolutely nothing. We will bid farewell and leave the world, exactly the same way we arrived here………….timid and toiling.

God has given us immense potential……….we can become anybody we want to be, we can have anything we want to have. It’s all there for us to claim. But we are too busy………………too busy in our morbid existence, too busy to celebrate ourselves, our life, our talents hidden in the unknown depths of our being.

This is where our beliefs, our faith comes into play. When we believe, we inadvertently give ourselves the power to hope………..which in turn will set the wheels of the universe turning in our favor.

Believe that you were meant to bigger and better things……….believe that you have unused potential lying there inside of you…………….believe that you can make this world a better place to live in.

Make yourself proud. Vision yourself doing things that people told, you were never capable of doing.

work hard for your dreams………..toil………stay awake……….sweat……….

Because all that matters in the end is how fearlessly you lived and how boldly you faced the hardships thrown at you.

Love fearlessly………….speak fearlessly and above all, live fearlessly.

Go out there and show them what wonders your believing something, your hope in something has done to you. Teach them a lesson or two. It’s Time.

“If you can see it with your eyes and feel it in your heart, you can hold it in your hand”.

Don’t believe the world and change. Believe and change the world.

 

 

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Books…My Silent Healers

 “I have lived more in the books than anywhere else in the world”- Neil Gaiman

I was an avid reader since………..well frankly, I don’t remember. I am not quite able to put my finger on the exact moment when i started enjoying the lone time with my silent friends.

They never judged and never criticized.

They were just there, ready to envelop me and accompany me in a world where the oceans were calm, the nights were starry and the days were full of promises.

All was one with the universe. When i started reading, they offered just a way of escapism, but gradually they turned into something, my very existence depended upon………my support systems.

I sat with them for hours together, smelling the pages, feeling alive and thriving.

I felt one with them all………the tragedies of Shakespeare, the mysticism of Coleridge, the sufferings of Dickens and the greatness of Milton.

The Blackwells of Sheldon inspired me and the Jason Bournes of Ludlum hooked me in.

I understood the religion that Brown talked about and devoured the Secret of the Nagas.

It does not matter what i did or how low i felt, they were always there…………………..to heal….to repair.

They taught me that nothing in this world is permanent………except the pains and pleasures that were inked down.

They taught me that whatever chapter we may be stuck in at the present, we just needed to turn the page.

They opened the realms and horizons of my mind in a way that the mere mortals will have a hard time figuring out.

They made me less apprehensive and more appreciative. They made me less critical and more clear…………….less grief struck and more awe struck.

Everyone will not understand what this is all about…………but i am completely OK with it.

I don’t seek approvals or acceptances anymore. I am here to love life in all it’s glory and allow it to love me back. I am here to give and forgive.

I know that my days are numbered like anyone else………………..But unlike anyone else I am trying to make them count………………

 

 

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My Letter To Me

As I look back at the girl standing timidly, full of fears and self-doubt, full of self criticism and uncertainties,  I want to hold her and whisper in her ear……” Relax……Everything is just gonna be fine”. Your wounds will heal and your soul will repair itself, yet again…………….just hold on.

I want to tell her that i am proud of her……….proud of the fact that while fighting the inner battles and demons, she is putting up the bold face…………so as not to let the world get the satisfaction of watching her suffer. Proud of the fact that she prefers to play the part of the ‘bold and beautiful’ rather than the ‘damsel in distress’.

I am also watching the people. The people who are making it tough for her. Making everyday a battle. I got some advice for them too. “You may try as hard as you want, you will not be able to break her……….never”.

I can see her in my mind’s eye……waiting for the approvals that will never come, waiting for the pat on the back that will take forever, waiting for the word of appreciation that will never be said.

But, i want to tell her something………….They don’t matter. 

People never change. They are going to remain the same unappreciative and demanding bunch you saw them as, when you were growing up all these years.

If somebody needs to change….It’s you.

Start the change by loving yourself. By embracing the exact way He made you.

Don’t ever alter your standards just to fit in. Because the people who love you will never want to change you and the people who want to change you won’t ever love you.

Don’t stand there looking so forlorn and worn out. Because when you finally grow up to be me………you will realize that the pain you went through, the sufferings you had were not worth your agony.

Because when you finally evolve into me, you will be much stronger and bolder. You will understand that the world does this to everybody……….everybody who is different, everybody who doesn’t want to just fit in. 

But i will let you in on a secret: ” They don’t let you down because you are inferior, they do it because they are AFRAID”. Afraid of you soaring high above……….leaving them on the ground, looking up at you. Afraid of your genius, your strength.

Don’t fear………because you will always have one person who will love you unconditionally………despite your failures, your falling,  your doubts and that’s ME……………Your grown up self.

I am looking at you and in a way i am happy that you are going through this. It’s going to make you more strong than you will ever imagine and better in ways you cannot even comprehend.

The  people who are inflicting pain will teach you about compassion…………….The people who are making you feel inferior will teach you about embracing others without judgement. People leaving you in the lurch will teach you about forgiveness.

Just hang on………………….When it is all over, you will be thankful for all of it…………..the highs, the lows. the good, the bad……..all of it.

When you feel like giving up, which you will, many a times, just remember this:

You are the most beautiful creation of GOD and don’t let anyone else make you believe otherwise…………because………what you believe……..you become”.

Keep your head up and smile……………..U will get through……………..I know and I trust.

 

Love.

Me

 

 

 

 

 

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Escape

I wish I had the guts to escape earlier. To escape in a world where there were no turmoils, no anxiety, no fear, no regrets. A world where everything was starkly perfect. Smooth. I wish, like so many of us daily do. But there is just one question that is nagging me before I make the flight to that world.

Does such a world exist?

A place where there are no judgements, no depressing thoughts, no taboos. A world which is limitless, boundless and peaceful.

Yes, such a world exists. It exists within us. It exists with a force you cannot reckon with if you do not understand it fully.

The outer world will constantly remind us of what we lack, that we are imperfect, that we are unacceptable, that we are disabled in a million ways. And believe me, I have first hand information of it. But thankfully, we all are gifted with an inner world, which will accept us the way we are, which will reiterate the fact that we are beautiful in our own light, that we are unique in our own way, that we are imperfectly perfect.

But does our inner world tell us all these things on it’s own?

NO, IT DOES NOT. Then……what do we do. How do we talk to it? How do we make it our companion?

ESCAPE: That is the key.

We need to train our minds to escape into our inner world and stay there. Escape….. not from the problems……. not from the chaos……but from the negativity, the limited beliefs, the negative self talk, the complaining.

We have to always remember one thing: You can afford the problems, but not the self doubt that you will not be able to solve it.

Now, the question is, how do we escape the negativity?

Does it mean leaving the worldly affairs and accepting sainthood or does it mean not facing the reality, squarely, exactly as it is?

Escape is a term that is often associated with being a coward or a weakling. But in my mind, it is a beautiful word. For me, it means, slipping inside yourself, recognizing yourself……….your potential, your power, your desires, your dreams and all that U stand for.

We need to build our inner world in a way that nothing and I repeat….nothing from the outer world hurts you or damages you. We need to train our minds to keep calm in moments of complete chaos and to smile even when the things are amiss, not at all going our way.

We need to see the beauty that lies within us, the peace, the happiness that lies within us. Unfortunately, we don’t. We keep searching for it outside of us. But you know what……………nothing exists there. Nothing exists outside of us.

We are the source, the source of our own power, the source of our own happiness, the source of our own undeniable success.

All you need to do is to escape…….escape inside and see your dreams forming, taking a shape. Believe in the power of your dreams.

Yeah…. I know, the things have been repeated a million times, but did it make a difference in your life? Did it alter the way you look at yourself? Did it help you evolve into a better person?

It did not. You are still sitting on the runway waiting for somebody to push you to soar high.

IT IS NOT GONNA HAPPEN. I am sorry, but it just won’t. Period

Go out there and hunt.

Songs of the Soul.

The search within…..

As i sat on the beach, listening to the waves rushing on and off the shore, the palm talking with the winds, the sand still below my feet, I felt so at peace with the world and myself. So very in the moment.

Sometimes, as we aspire for the bigger and better, we forget to appreciate the little things that come our way. The air on our face, the sun that shines after the rain in all it’s glory, the leaves rustling………………..

Life is so short to be dull and dreary. The problem is that we think we have time.

We keep waiting for the right time…………for that one moment, somewhere in the unknown depths of future, when everything will be perfect. But the reality is that nothing is perfect……..ever.

The present moment, the moment right now is all we have got. So don’t wait.

Make that painting, read that book you love, take the holiday still overdue, go for that bike ride………just DO something that makes you feel alive. Feel complete.

The world out there won’t understand. That’s OK.

You are not here to make people understand. You are here to listen to the yearnings of your soul. What you imagine, you create.

Go out and create a world for yourself which one day you will be proud of. You will know that you outlived your boundaries and you grew into an individual that you are today.

Walking barefoot on the sand, as i look deep within me, i find peaceful stillness. No confusion, no agitation, just a serenity………………..

It happens when you surrender yourself to the universe………..a universe that knows what you are searching for, craving for and when the time comes, it shall be yours……………..forever.